What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize