My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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