Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
