Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
