Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize