If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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