Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
