You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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