you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
