Dual....:-)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
