youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
