he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
