the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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