nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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