We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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