There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
