i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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