i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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