He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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