like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
