discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize