West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
