oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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