i permit you to call me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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