Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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