I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
