her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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