It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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