I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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