You work out of a Hotel?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
