Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
