let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
