Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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