dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
