but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize