office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
