He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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