Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize