dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
