3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We're facebook friends in real life
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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