I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
soo... how was my night?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
