I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
