My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
