once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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