i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
