So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
there is glitter all over my balls
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
