Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
