I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize