You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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