Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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