omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize