Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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