i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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