How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
