My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
