get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
