too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize