omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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