So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
