Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
