Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize