question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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