then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
