No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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