turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize