are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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