sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
