that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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