Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
