Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
