Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
