He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
