butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
