Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
