love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
