Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
