Will you blow on my dice?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
